Letters to John Doe

nr.0

I live in a constant imaginary world;
where love is the most precious gift
and sincerity are the pillars of respect.

nr.1

My journey has begun,
darkness starts to fade away.
I will walk a lonely road
and rise to find the sun

nr.2

There are men with their own truths,
there are men who live vain.
There are all kind of creatures emerged in their pain.

They talk through their fists,
the act fearing(ly),
they can´t understand the value of thee

nr.3

Floating, drifting and fading away,
they may pray of a new today.

nr.7

Silence today,
silence tomorrow,
silence for every day of my sorrow.

nr.9

I give up,
I surrender,
I gave you all; I remember.

It´s all in vain,
I understand,
I´ll walk away, I´m on my way.

So goodbye to dreams,
goodbye to love,
goodbye to everything I ought.

nr.11

So...
Alea iacta est to absence,
alea iacta est to illusion,
alea iacta est to indifference
and alea iacta est to a hollow world.

But mostly;
alea iacta est to love,
true and eternal love.

nr.13

I remember feeling blank,
I remember remembering you.

nr.14

One small step,
one more death,
one last breath.

Avoiding the void,
endless silence with no voice.

nr.17

Today I stand again like Diogenes of Sinope, searching for a pure soul. Without Lantern or sight, without a path to slide

nr.21

A lost scream,
a forgotten tear,
a non finished smile:

a vanished soul.

nr.23

Sometimes I wonder what it would feel to be a leaf floating in a never ending fall.

nr.24

Again and again,
loosing myself to love, to life.

So I´ve become a killer?
So every Door is closed?

nr.27

Magic, magic;
where did you hide?

Finding in your absence,
an old friend of mine.
Following your secrets
and touching the sky,
glancing at my wishes
that I left behind

nr.28

Am I a slave to love?

Mark my words;
I will never fall in love again.

nr.29

Today I dreamt on working with my hands forever and meaning something;
tonight I promised myself never to believe in vain on a utopia again

nr.31

I´m sorry, my mistake;
I confused you with another beeing...

nr.32

If you stay,
I should pray;
through the darkness
of your ways.

I would say;
no one else, could lead me this way.

nr.33

Why does it feel like breaking down
when you are not around?

nr.34

So maybe pain is just a concept made by the Mind...

nr.35

There are roses,
that haven´t found they're speaking.
So alone, is it wrong?

nr.36

Moments of solitud would leave a trace...

Nr.45

I hear your fear, I feel you're lies.
Drunken silence, broken void.

nr.52

Know;
we´ve put our hearts out enough for your own private banquet.
I call for people, for humanity;
cause we can be better.
Love is not blind!
Even the coldest ones,
tip toe through inner beauty.

nr.53

Now that I have your atention;

Drop your eyes, just flow bye.

Feel your heart and start to fly.

nr.56

Five;
Open your eyes
Four,
feel yourself
Three,
Embrace your darkness
Two;
Let go of yourself
One;
jump

nr.60

You are the pillars of my grave...

nr.68

I don´t really care, already gave up long time ago.
I don´t believe in love, won´t manifest it anyway.
Cause at the end, everything is just a game you play.

I will never show my true self
or say what I really think.
I rather close myself,
then be another fool for you.

Silence; I grow apart.
Absence; do what you want.
Truth, your confusion of lies.

nr.69

Take a breath;
be real.
Take a breath;
hold your lies,
open eyes.
Smell the heat;
love flows and blows.
Feel the cold;
inocence is gone.

so just pull the triger...

nr.73

I closed my eyes and dreamt of you,
I woke up just to a silent void.
Cause ive never fallen so honestly,
and I have never felt so weak.
So tears will keep falling into the silent void,

this is what I´ve become;

hollow echoes of slowly breaking bones...

nr.77

To the hopeless ending;

I never remember being truly happy.
I only remember questioning myself, feeling cast out of this world; not belonging, not understanding...

I just remember not being happy; just fading away in a lonely silent, like now....
I remember being sad,
I remember drowning,
I remember not forgetting...

nr.86

Not a bouquet of roses,
could have raised your death;
lower than down: you fly away.

Didn´t know you could denie the living or the dead.
And the sailors lost in see...
Oh! I cant seem to fly slow enought...

nr.88

.... like the sparkling sound of light cracking in a Rainbow.

nr.90

Unapologetic

When will I see,
when will I feel?
One, two; drown.
One, two; die.
One, two; alive.
One, two; slide.´
Guess I´m a bad girl.
Guess I´m wrong, wrong, wrong.
Slide away from pain, drive thru fear.
I surrender and fall back again.
One, two; asphyxiated.
One, two; fight.
One, two; cry.
One, two; die.
Nothing exists, nothing belongs.
Tears won´t dry, tears won´t cry.
Here comes the pain, fighting back till coma strikes back.
I will slide away , I guess I’m an underground bad girl;
underground love,
underground pain,
underground silent….

nr.93

Impossible was not me reaching my dreams,

Impossible was you loving me.

nr.97

And I drank myself to sorrow in a beautiful disguise,
because silent may be the scream of a broken soul.

And no one would ever see, that secret buried inside;
no one would ever hear, the cracking of a slowly dying heart.

nr.98

I used to dream;

reality just breaks a mans soul...

nr.100

Before an absence,
On the sight of a insipid life;
a silent storm torments.

I´ll cast into oblivion...

nr.111

What if life is the process of slowly dying?

nr.117

My inner world is about to explode,
thought my heart is trained to devote.

There is a sorrow inside,
I can’t be able to hide...

There is a light I can’t deny,

my nights become days to blame.

nr.121

I drown in the blues of a choleric heart,
melting through the thought of a world without love…

nr.129

It´s a Trap!
Don´t let fears distort your sight.

nr.131

I just dont know what I am to do, to be; as an artist, as a person, as a woman, as a being...
I want revolution of some kind,
I want meaningfull results,
I want hard work,
I want life.
But I feel the oposite.
I feel Im just waiting for death,
for silence, for peace.
And so the days pass like raindrops falling;
slowly washing myself away.
They take me through a slowmotion trance of blind frustration;
of hate, resentfullness, sadness and silent screams.
I dress with smiling masks, that cracks my heart with each hour passed.

nr.151

Lets make a revolution!
Like a whisper,
let´s love ourself completly today

nr.159

With time my heart is changing,

through observation time has stoped.

I am stepping towards myself discovering my heart and true soul.

Humble transforms from a word to a being,

truth becomes part of my soul.

Slowly, slowly, I remember how to fly

I remember my escence again I understand.

I try uncondicional kindness,

I hear distracted love, I devote forgiveness.

Slowly, slowly
I look through my own eyes

Slowly, slowly
I die and live at the same time

nr.162
Waiting for a shadow;

bouncing footsteps,

whistling wind through a gentlemans hand.

And you,

you would be a mystery smile full of laughters.

And I,

I would be a look in disguise full of desire.

nr.163

Like a forgotten victim,
like an unwanted lie;
Im stranded here with no goodbye.

From savior to killer,
from human to a ghost;
Id rather let myself go.

nr.184
Maybe the truth is that I am broken.
Maybe I just wish for somebody to safe me.

nr.200

200 letters have slide by,
one for each time you got lost in space.

I still remember you,
as an island voyaging between clouds.
I still feel you,
for each hour the silence grows infinite.

Time has side-fallen between my fingers!